It finally happened…

So we were at Shul Tuesday night for Simchat Torah, and I’m sitting back in my chair, after dancing for a couple of hours, and granted, I was wearing a shirt that was a little too big, and I was slumped down in my chair a bit, so my tummy zone was a bit protruding….

But a woman asked me: “When are you due?”

(insert shock, gasp, horror look here)

I said (NONE too sweetly): “Due with what?”

She said: “Oh, I thought you were expecting.”

I said: “No, I’m just fat.”

Narda looked at me in horror.

I felt bead for being so snippey with her, and later went over to her and basically said that I was sorry for being so snippy, but not only have I struggled with weight my entire life, but I’ve also been struggling with infertility for almost three years. She felt appropriately guilty, I felt better for having spoken to her and apologizing for my rude tone.

And we went on from our Shul to Benai Jeshren to continue our Torah appreciation, as Narda felt intimidated by CarlBach and didn’t want to go there. I told her we’d go on a Shabbos morning instead, since she’s never experienced the Mechitzah, and it would be an interesting thing for her to experince. Over near the Carlbach Shul, there was a HUGE amount of orthodox kids being, well, kids. I told Narda how refreshing it was to see kids just being kids… there they were wandering around the upper west side, hanging out on a corner, as their parents tried to go into services and listen in on the Hakafot that continued well into the morning. Narda told me that she had had impressions, and previous judgements, and that it was refreshing for her, as well.

When we got to BJ, it was like “ortho-hippies,” it was so wild – all that was left at midnight were teens and early 20-somethings withe the tzis-tzis hanging out of their shirts, doing drum circles, beat-boxing on the mikes and interpretive dancing. We watched for about half an hour, having discussions as to “which method of religious upbringing our future child will have.” We want a healthy mix – a bissel of this, a bissel of that – as most parents probably do. I mean hey, if they are thrilled just to go to Shul and get into Hebrew songs, that’s a darn good thing, right? So even though we may have had justgements flowing through us Tuesday night, we had a great time, burned some calories, and got to participate in one of our favorite things: “Talking about the future kid, and how we will raise him or her.”

Which will all get thrown out the window when they are actually here. We totally get that, but it’s still fun to talk about it.

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6 thoughts on “It finally happened…

  1. Wow. I’m sorry. I know that must have hurt on many levels.
    We still haven’t figured out how to raise Charlie religion wise… one of these days we should get cracking…

  2. We know we’re raising Sasha, Jewish (“progressive” conservative), but we are in complete disagreement as to which Synagogue to attend! So, I guess it doesn’t end with choosing your religion. (Hugs for that woman’s comments.)

  3. “ortho-hippies” – LOVE that!
    I think you handled the comment from that lady well. Seriously, people shouldn’t ask women such things unless they see a baby coming out of their cooch. It is good that you explained yourself – hopefully she will spread the word.
    And b/c I know you care:
    My word verification is: knpvjfld
    (not very fun)

  4. I admire your ability to apologize and “make nice” after such a rude comment. I don’t know if i would have been that forgiving!! (I totally agree, though–people should never ask such a thing!!)

  5. Okay, that sucks. I am forever amazed that people do that. Nobody ever stops and says anything about my belly on the street…and it ain’t cause I’m thin. On the contrary, I think they can’t tell if I’m pregnant or just fat, so they don’t say anything. So maybe you should take it as some kind of horrific compliment.

    Okay…I tried to put some kind of positive spin on it…but it’s not working.

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