So yesterday, October 11th, was National Coming Out Day. It just slipped by, and I didn’t even realize it. Why, you may ask? For one, almost everyone I know knows that I’m gay. And those that didn’t, figured it out when we adopted Malka.
Sometimes I have to come out EVERY day. With total and complete strangers. (Because I am a white woman with a black baby and a black partner. And I use the word black, because I do not describe myself as Caucasian-American. In actuality, I am more Lithuanian-American than anything else. My grandmother z”l, Malka’s namesake, was born in Lithuania. I am only a 2nd generation American. So I am simply referring to skin color here, not country of origin.)
Kids say the darndest things sometimes – like: “Why is she a different color than you?” Then I have the wonderful opportunity to say something like: “Because she grew in my heart, not in my tummy.” I appreciate the honesty of kids, rather than the looks I get from some folks. They look at her, they look at me, they look back at her and then divert their eyes.
Is it because it’s obvious that I’m gay? What makes it obvious? Is it because I’m a white mom with a black baby? Is it because Malka has two mommies? There are aspects of our lives that will become more public than we care to make them, simply because we have a child, and kids are cruel. I was the victim of childhood cruelty. Maybe that’s why I’m such a smart-ass now, who knows? I just want the world to hurry up and not only allow Narda and to legally get married (because I’m a frugal gal, and it’s MUCH cheaper to protect our family by getting hitched for 36 bucks down at city hall than it is to get legal protections by paying a lawyer thousands of dollars.) But to become more tolerant so that Malka can grow up in a world where she’s special and different because of her own accomplishments, not because of what her mommies are. It just shouldn’t matter.
Currently, there are approx. 1,000,000 (that’s one MILLION) kids living in LGBT families. HRC Website Source And I’m just thrilled that we know a handful of them, and consider them friends.
Now if the rest of America would just hurry up and jump on the bus already, we’d appreciate it. Because we really want Malka Palka Pooka Palka to grow up in a world that is accepting of her family. Thank you.